# 73
Robert Wolter to Brian
May 13, 2009
Hey Bri,
So I’ve been kind of obsessing over death recently. I’ve been talking to my friends and family a lot about it. Things like where I want to die and what I want after I die. (This, of course is if I don’t die from CF or there comes a cure or medication that profoundly extends my life). I don’t expect them to react lightly to these discussions and needless to say it freaks some of them out. I hope in the back of their minds they take me seriously, though.
Anyways, one thing that continues to swim in my mind is the concept of living on borrowed time. If there weren’t all these medications and therapies and knowledge about and for the human body I definitely would not be here today. Does that mean I’m living on borrowed time? Or, just like advances in any other science (recording, architecture, flying) does it just make that particular art better? No one thought Andy Warhol’s screen prints were art when he was doing them but look how the mindset has shifted. Michealangelo didn’t have the tools that are available today but does that mean there isn’t a sculptor as talented as he was? I suppose I answered my own question. Life shouldn’t be measured by time. However long one ends up living isn’t borrowed or taken I suppose, but it’s a gift.
As I’ve gotten older and less healthy I feel the need to develop and have strong relationships with people. In a way I feel like it’s putting my stamp on this world. I remember when I used to come into the hospital and I wouldn’t get along with a certain nurse or just have a bad attitude. There would be certain quirks about them that would make me distant or silent. Now my desire to befriend everyone I meet is insatiable. It’s funny how I walk around the hospital now and I pretty much know every person who works or walks around on this floor, and I say hi to every one of them. It’s kind of weird when I come in here because despite the reason I’m here I feel like they are genuinely happy to see me.
You know, I’ve been thinking about Jesus the past few days. A lot of my family is really Christian and so are some friends of mine. And it got me thinking about the whole concept of religion. If people believe that Jesus is God, then what’s the difference in just believing in a God? His teaching’s are “God-like” but humans distort his teachings to persuade people to follow them. Religion comes from within I think and we are part of a collective.
talk to u soon…
b.