From Bobby to Brian

June 28^th, 2009

Yeah I look out the window a lot these days and wish I could be outside amongst the world. I remember the summer of 2004 was the healthiest of my adult life so far. I rode my bike everywhere and loved taking rides during sunsets. In the summer of 2005 I got really sick and never got back on the bike after that. That’s another thing I hope to do, no matter how much oxygen I need.

Man, forgiveness to me is such a deep feeling that it’s hard to talk about and describe without talking about religion. I have a Quaker heritage in my blood and a big part of their beliefs is peacefulness and  integrity and honesty. I’m not totally sure what their stance of forgiveness is, but living a peaceful life of honesty and integrity surely include the ability to forgive. Growing up in church I always heard the Lord’s Prayer which asks God to forgive us for our trespasses and forgive those who trespass against us. I always wondered what the reasons to forgive were and why I should be forgiven. And if saying this prayer wiped the slate clean, then was it really all there was to it? I found out that it’s not. What I’ve found is that it’s going down to the deepest part of your soul, understanding what it is you are NEEDING and trying to reconcile it the best you can.

I like your idea that negative feelings disappear outside the physical reality because I believe that heartbreak, anger, resentment, pain all are physically debilitating. You can get bogged down in these emotions and they can affect your physical body, and that’s a fact. That’s where I believe forgiveness can help you let go of these emotions not only when you need to be forgiven but maybe even more importantly when YOU need to forgive. The thought I keep coming back to is this though: If the person you are willing/wanting to forgive doesn’t even understand the reason for it, is it worth it? Can you let go of the anger, hurt, pain if it goes unsubstantiated? It’s as if the feelings you are trying to let go of just get sucked into an emotionless black-hole, and in that sense, does it matter? Either way, whatever awaits us after we’ve checked out I hope is devoid of those feelings. If forgiveness = love, then the key element of forgiving/being forgiven is love.

As much as I’ve rambled already, it’s not even scratching the surface. What do you think?

Ayengar yoga! That’s what my parents are going to set me up with when I get out of here. My step dad is way into him.

I’m glad you’re doing well.

Love,

bobby.

This entry was posted on Saturday, June 27th, 2009 at 9:10 pm and is filed under Death, Forgiveness, Religion. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.