# 40
Robert Wolter to Brian
Feb 22, 2009
No, not at all! I love talking about all of this stuff. It’s been on the forefront of my mind a lot with all the different books I’m reading. I think a lot of my friends are like, “uh-oh here he goes again…” when I start talking about it with them. I have a feeling they think I’m overly concerned about death because of my situation. Obviously it serves as a catalyst for why I’m thinking about it but in general I just love the topic.
I actually do have a blog! It’s a dream blog that I haven’t updated in almost a year, but there is some good stuff in there I suppose: http://robertcwolter.blogspot.com. We should totally blog it out! I wonder if these conversations could be of use to other people with CF or other similar illnesses. (on another note, I’ve always wanted to give back to the CF community somehow and one of the ideas I had was to have adults with CF made available to newly diagnosed kids parents to answer questions and just have some sort of correspondence. Everyones situation is different but not knowing what to expect must be pretty terrifying for new parents. I know my parents would have probably liked to have had some kind of support, especially since I was diagnosed so late.)
The conversation with my friend really didn’t lead anywhere. He keeps his emotions pretty close to his chest. It’s exactly like you said, until you’re confronted head on with your own mortality it’s hard to speak on, it’s not a reality for him.
Although I’ve been really close to cashing it in, I can’t say I’ve had any kind of near death experience or anything like that, but what I do have is a feeling that this isn’t it, that my body is just a body and this is just my “earthly” experience. What is after this life, I can’t say for sure, no one can, but I know there is something. I think that humans will constantly progress and evolve. If you think about technology and forms of communication, it is constantly getting smaller, faster, smarter. One of the things my friend said was that it was a shame to waste so much brain power in this life. I think that’s true, there is so much that can get accomplished. I’m a firm believer in if you can think it you can create it, like you were talking about in previous emails. So I do think humans are part of nature like everything else and constantly evolving and will reach different levels of existence as “time” moves “forward”.
I also wonder if relatives mean anything in the next life. Does blood translate to the next life? Does it mean anything? Like you were saying, can we choose who we can live in this world with? I definitely think that there are lessons to be learned in every life we live. I really do think dreams are little windows into what the mind can truly accomplish. I think they also serve as recycling centers for our daily experiences but if you really dissect them you can learn a lot about yourself and others. They’re like your super-intuitive instincts.
Do you blog it out?